Love in the Time of Ancient Gods
by find-nowhere
Summary: Aphrodite's POV. Post-season 6. Aphrodite/Gabrielle
1. Twas Love Killed the Olympians

_**WARNING: **Slashiness is ahead, or at least implied slashiness of the girly sort. Turn back now, foolish mortals, who care not for such things. If you don't then I'll flay you with angry words and the like. Anyway...  
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_**Michelle-Note: **Ah...a Xena fic. Haven't done one of these before, but I think it's high time I did. I have great plans for this! Ok, not really. Aphrodite's POV, and a pairing that I have NEVER seen before. This is exciting. Aphrodite/Gabrielle...brace yourself. Oh and the title is a play on _Love in the Time of Cholera_, which I just finished reading. I wasn't too impressed, and I don't recommend it. I think I pumped it up too much in my head and was just disappointed. Onward into slashy fun!_

Love in the Time of Ancient Gods

1. Twas Love Killed the Olympians

Whoever said immortals knew nothing of love because they knew nothing of loss was a fool. It was Eli (and he was certainly a damn fool, preaching his love as a weapon and all of that nonsense); he and his silly One God - the God of Love…blah blah blah. I was the Goddess of Love long before this One God ever showed up in Greece, and it was with the weakening of _my_ powers that humanity became void of love. Not even the supposedly great One God could fix it. With the restoration of my Godhood, love returned, but I took a backseat to this One God though I was clearly necessary. A necessary evil, I guess because I was an old God, and that…apparently…made me evil. I lost my worshippers, and there were no more temples to the beautiful Aphrodite, but that didn't seem to make the One God happy.

We knew of loss, we did! The loss of our immortality, the loss of who we were. We were the Olympians, and we always had been, since the fall of the Titans. We were losing our identity and ultimately, all of us, except Ares and myself, lost their lives entirely. So how could we know nothing of loss?

Where does the soul of a dead God go anyway? In two millennia I haven't managed to run into any of my brother's or sisters of Mount Olympus in my travels. I doubt they went to the Heaven of the One God, who clearly hated us. Ares was around, so I heard, but I never saw him, and I gave up looking.

Our time was over though, and I knew that. Athena and the others brought the Twilight upon themselves. Had they just left Eve alone, they could have lived on forever, so long as they minded their own business. That is if the God of Love would have let us do that. I'll wait for the day that the One God falls. Nothing is permanent…not the Titans, the Olympians, or anyone, but everyone always thinks they are the one that is going to be around forever. One day the One God will die just as everyone else. On some level, I wished to regain my power…my real power…so that people would know my name again, and bring silly little sacrifices and gifts to me.

I'd grown a little bitter, I suppose. Not from regret. I could have killed Eve, and Xena would have lost her power to kill Gods, and I could have fought alongside the others, but I did neither. No point in the latter, at least no point as long as Eve was alive. I turned my back on my fellow immortals when I chose to let her live when she was within my grasp and completely helpless. I couldn't do it. But _why_ couldn't I do it?

Love. I was the Goddess of Love. I suppose Eli's preaching about using love to defeat the Gods was true. Love defeated us in the end. But the Olympians knew nothing of love, so he said. We all did though – the love of power, the love of war, the love of ourselves. I don't suppose that was the right kind of love though. The love that killed us was that obnoxious, meaningful, selfless love.

I didn't know anything about _that_ love. I was more or less the Goddess of Sex and shallow, physical pleasures. I'd never been in love, and I'd never loved anyone except myself. Yet, I was the Goddess of Love. My title was rather non-descriptive, but it did, in fact, encompass all love, I guess. It was love that killed the Olympians. Or rather, Love, as in me…Aphrodite, and my idiotic love. What a lame time for me to realize I did love someone, and I was also _in_ love with that someone. I loved them enough to turn my back on…everything.

But did I regret it?

No.

Here I was now, thousands of years later, the bitter Goddess of Love, who somehow didn't regret the decision she made that caused all of this. It didn't make sense. But - in the name of Zeus - when does love _ever_ make any sense!

I had my immortality though…my endless beauty; no wrinkles, sagging, or any of that nastiness. No gray hair, no arthritis. What good is all that when no one _really_ loves you?


	2. Hello, Mortals!

_**Michelle-Note: **Here I am again. I fear my updates will be few and far between. But anyway, thanks go out to my solitary reviewer for my solitary review of chapter 1...haha. I think I'll have fun with this in my spare time. I heart Aphrodite. Oh, and this is in the present...more or less...recent past maybe, and taking into consideration all of the future episodes involving the Xena scrolls, of course.  
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2. Hello, Mortals!

I bided my time these days mainly sitting at the top of Olympus…alone. Ares had been gone for hundreds of years. I figured he was wreaking general havoc somewhere or another, or searching for Xena, while I sat around distributing love to mortals. Every few centuries I'd find myself rather bored, and I'd venture down into the mortal world with some sort of guise matching the time-period. During my little escapades I always kept an eye out for anyone that could be anyone I knew. Never found any of them, and I don't know what I would have done had I actually. They probably wouldn't remember me anyway.

Engaging in a few love affairs throughout the years out of pure boredom, I broke a good many hearts, or so I like to think. It would be nice if just one of those people actually loved me. I always vanished, growing bored with those I used to alleviate my boredom. They all moved on too. As the years passed, I became more and more elusive, and watched the goings on from the outside. It was about time I wandered down from my home again. Los Angeles looked amusing this time of year; good shopping and also I could get away with my actual name there. No one would give a ditzy blond girl named Aphrodite a second thought.

Rolling out of the mess of pink pillows that rested on my bed, I snapped my fingers. With a bit of a sparkle my hair was up, and I wore a short white skirt with a pale pink top, and matching heels. I looked down to ensure that an ample amount of cleavage was showing, and pleased, I conjured up a bright pink Corvette convertible for my transportation amusement. I was glad horses were out of style, I hate riding those things. I _really_ hated my brief stint as a mortal simply due to the walking required. In Ancient Greece I could appear and disappear in a poof at my whim, and no one gave it much thought, but doing that in other times was frowned upon, so I had to go with the conventional transportation to fit in with the mortals. Again, at least it wasn't horses anymore…those horrible, smelly things.

I sat in the driver's seat of the car, and stroked the fuzzy pink steering wheel then popped myself to a deserted path of highway outside of the city. I didn't mind driving a little way. It helped me think of things to do to amuse myself once I reached real civilization. With another snap of my fingers, sunglasses rested on top of my head. I pulled them down to shield my eyes from the glaring sun. I put the top down, and started my journey.

I had gotten rather adept at the driving thing, and also the shopping thing. The latter was a rather pointless activity, seeing as I could have any random sort of clothing, bag, or whatever pleased me, which was one of the perks of being a Goddess. I could have everything I wanted when I wanted it…except, well…_people_. I lacked the ability to make people love me. It would be a silly endeavor anyway because mortals die, and that would just leave me alone yet again, experiencing that loss that Eli said we knew nothing about.

Grimacing at the thought, I pushed it from my mind. I'd created some fake credit cards, and poofed the silly pieces of plastic into working. The fun of shopping was in the act of shopping, and not actually in the acquiring of anything new. On some level it was enjoyable to look at limited selections of items, and have to make decisions. I never _really_ had to make decisions though. If I couldn't make up my mind, I'd just get everything. It was also a thrill to be among the throngs of people, scrounging for minimally produced items, and fighting over the last of something left in your size. Rather trivial, yes, but it passed the time, and kept my mind off of…other things.

The cities now were far different than the cities of ancient Greece. They still bustled with people, but the buildings were different, and the smell, and most of all the lack of magic. Everything had become substantially less magical, and less mysterious. Investigation, exploration, and discovery had uncovered most mysteries until few remained, and the things left were elusive and almost invisible unless you knew what you were looking for. A good dose of skepticism made those other things disappear entirely. I was one of those things. Wherever I went a veil of mystery followed, and I put a little bit of magic back where it was lost.

Almost everything was empty and exaggerated now like a farce, or maybe it just felt that way to me. The world was becoming less real. My little appearances and bits of magic faded over time, and I was again forgotten. I and all of the identities I took on over the years never made it into history. The most I could do was just exist. As long as I existed, love existed; it didn't matter whether or not I still actually felt love myself. In recent years, it looked like love was dwindling among the mortals though, and I wondered if my simply existing was really just enough, or if perhaps the supply wasn't endless and mortals were reaching the bottom of the barrel. I wondered what would happen to me if that happened, would I lose my immortality? Would that create imbalance and churn the world into hatred without me to balance Ares' wrath, wherever he was? Or would he eventually lose his immortality as well, and plunge the world into apathy instead?

No matter.

After driving through busy streets I parked my car in an enormous parking deck outside of a mall of some sort. Malls were like market-places, but more expensive and shiny. I rolled up the windows and put the top back up. I grabbed my purse filled with fake items, pressed the button on my key chain to lock the door, and I strutted onward. Then the magic began. I could flip out a few love spells here and there, and maybe go home with a man, only to vanish before he woke up the next morning. Bam, there was some mystery. Before I could even think to conjure a silly love spell, I had turned a few heads. Some heads were then slapped because they were on the necks of people with significant others on their arms. I smiled, knowing I still had it – the it that made me desirable no matter what century. I paid no mind to any of the boys, and silly girls, whose attention I grabbed; I'd seen something far more interesting. A crowd of people were gathered around an electronics store where every TV had breaking news flashing across it.

What could this be? I wondered.

"Xena Scroll describing Xena's death found!"

"Ack…" I muttered. Gabrielle's little scrolls always made me seem more klutzy than I really was…or maybe it just took a few thousand years for me to grow up. I dunno. She should have given me a break. I always meant well. I still meant well…with my silly love spells and all. The thing about love spells though, they are spells, and sometimes they can turn into real love, but most of the time they're still just spells.

It had been a few years since anyone last found a Xena Scroll. Maybe I'd actually drop by the convention where they read the thing this time. Xena and Gabby had themselves a bit of a cult following these days. Rumor had it that Ares showed up to one of these conventions once, along with the reincarnations of Joxer, Xena, and Gabrielle themselves. I admit, even I was a bit skeptical about this, and didn't care to get involved in the mumbo-jumbo.

Gabby stopped writing after Xena died. It was a pity really…after I spent all of that time helping her get started again. But hey, what is time to someone who's immortal anyway? The little Battling Bard of Potidaea went on to continue her and Xena's mission of beating up bad people in the name of peace, defending those who can't defend themselves, and whatnot.

I found myself lingering around the televisions after most of the crowd had departed. Gabby made a brief stop in Greece after returning from the Land of the Pharaohs then she headed to India to find Eve. I joined up with her because I had nothing else to do, and because I daresay I enjoyed her company. None of the people around me knew that story though, and they never would.

It went something like this…


	3. The Battling Bard’s Homecoming

3. The Battling Bard's Homecoming 

I'm sitting up on top of Mount Olympus, musing over my pink lingerie, and rumors are abounding in the mortal world that Xena's dead. Shocking. I didn't think she could die, since she'd managed to get out of it so many times, faring a whole lot better than my Olympian brethren. How was poor Gabby doing? Another rumor said she had gone to the Land of the Pharaohs on a solitary quest. They needed a woman with a chakram there, or some such nonsense.

The moment Gabrielle returned to Greece, I knew it. I could sense her back in my realm of power. It sucked being a non-omnipotent God. She stepped off of the boat that came from the Land of the Pharaohs, and she was, indeed, alone. Not only alone, but she wore Xena's chakram on her hip. There was no reason for little Gabby to have Xena's chakram unless the rumors were true. Only two other people could ever catch Xena's chakram: Callisto and Eve. This was all very intriguing, and I decided to go check it out. Gabby had to be highly upset at her loss, and I would be there to comfort her. I would whisk her away to Mount Olympus where I would shower her with gifts and listen to her boo-hoos about how Xena died because that's what friends who happen to be Goddesses do...I thought. Then we would be best friends and we'd live happily ever after. I really thought it was a great plan.

"What's shakin', little one?" I appeared in front of her and grinned with enthusiasm that I probably should have toned down considering the situation.

"Not much, Aphrodite." She didn't seem remotely amused much less happy to see me...just revoltingly apathetic.

I frowned and trying to be sympathetic said, "I heard about what happened..."

"Oh, really?" She reached into her pack and pulled out a scroll, shoving it in my face like a sword, suddenly a little ball of rage.

I didn't flinch though she had been inches from poking out my eye with the roll of paper. It wouldn't hurt me anyway, "You know I don't read, sweetpea."

"Fine." She muttered, putting it back as if re-sheathing the much less deadly scroll-sword of doom.

I crossed my arms, "Why so militant? Wanna talk about it?"

"No." She started to walk around me, and we bumped shoulders. She didn't even apologize.

Growing a bit frustrated, I popped myself in front of her once more, "I think you wanna talk about it, you're just deeply hurt, and you miss her."

"I think you have a way of appearing at the most inconvenient times."

"I just wanted to see if you were ok..." I told her sadly.

"I've been better, but yes, I'm ok, Aphrodite. You can go now." She said walking around me again.

And I popped in front of her…again, "Where are you going in such a rush?"

"To the east...India after I made a stop in Potideia to tell my family that I'm ok."

"That's a long way."

"Yep. I need to find Eve." Her patience seemed to be growing thin. She did need to find Eve, I suppose...spread the news about Xena's death more so that the warlords would go on pillaging rampages without fear.

"Can I come?"

"Why?" Her expression was of bafflement. It was as if she forgot I was her friend. Why would I not want to come?

"I'm bored." I said, trying not to sound nearly as hurt as I was.

"You're a goddess. I'm sure you can find another way to amuse yourself." I did a good job not convey my hurt, apparently.

I pouted, "But don't you want a traveling companion?"

"Nope."

It was my turn to be baffled. How could someone not want me? Everyone wanted me. "Not even the Goddess of Love? I could provide you with heavenly assistance."

"Especially not you."

Taken aback, I gasped, "What did I do?"

"Nothing."

"Then-"

"You did nothing. You never did anything."

"But I-"

"Don't say anything. Just get out of my way." She muttered between her teeth. Gabby was not in a good mood.

"Fine." I put my hands on my hips and disappeared, rather disconcerted by the whole conversation. I thought she'd want my company, since she didn't have Xena anymore. I always believed Xena was the only thing in the way of...well...us.

When she wasn't paying attention I snatched the scroll away without her even noticing. Some warrior she was – Xena totally would have caught me taking something out of her pack. I set up camp at Olympus and grabbed my reading glasses to engage in the arduous task. Unrolling the scroll, I put up my feet and got situated in appropriate lighting. Then I read about the series of events leading up to Xena's demise. It was tragic really, and terribly ironic. To free all of those souls she had to die in order to avenge the deaths of them all since it was her fault…or something. The only thing that I could find in Greece that was applicable to this practice was in the Furies with their retribution for murders and whatnot. The Furies were now dead of course.

Gabby, lugging her bag of scrolls and Xena's ashes didn't notice the absence of this one scroll that I assumed meant a lot to her as it chronicled the last time she saw her soulmate. She made her way along, helping some peasants as she went, and finally she made it to Potideia. Her sister Lila was there with her daughter Sara. That was all the family Gabrielle had left; their parents Herodotus and Hecuba were long gone.

I knocked on their front door, having followed the progression of her journey.

Lila answered the door and I was slightly disappointed. She looked me over quickly and asked, "Can I help you?"

She didn't recognize me, "I'm looking for Gabrielle. I have something to give her."

"Oh…she's inside, but she's pretty upset right now. She lost something important to her on her way back here. I don't think she wants any visitors right now."

I raised an eyebrow, "A scroll?"

"Yes. Yes, how did you know?"

"Because she dropped it a few towns back. It's what I came to give her."

"But miss, you don't have a scroll…" She eyed me suspiciously now.

I stamped my foot, and reached behind my back, making the scroll appear, "I do."

"How did you-"

"No matter…now let me in so I can give it to her." I started to walk in, but she blocked my path.

"Gabrielle really needs a good night's rest so she can continue on tomorrow morning. She has a long journey ahead of her."

I groaned, "Come on, Lila, let me in."

"Lila? How do you know my name? I don't recall introducing myself."

I stamped my foot again, "Gosh…my plans never work like they're supposed to…" I pouted, "I just wanna see Gabrielle, so I stole her scroll and-"

"I knew it!" The voice I wanted to hear yelled from inside, "Aphrodite!"

Lila stepped aside so that Gabby was in the doorway instead. She looked even less happy to see me this time.

"Hey little one, want this back?" I asked, waving it teasingly.

"You stole my scroll!"  
"I wanted to read it…" I studied her, and found not sign of the compassion that had been there before.

"You don't read."

"But I read it…" I said sincerely, and trying to sound as pitiful as possible.

"Give it here and go back to Olympus."

I crossed my arms and made it vanish again, "No. I'll give it back if you let me come with you to find Eve."

She seemed to give in, "How long do I have to be burdened with your company?"

"Until you find Eve, and then I'll give it back, and then I'll leave…unless of course…you change your mind and want me to be your permanent traveling partner…"

"Won't happen." She told me, sure of herself, and ducked back into the shadows of the house.

"Aphrodite, come in and I'll fix you a bed." Lila said.

I chuckled, "Oh no…I don't sleep in mortal beds."

"Aphrodite, if you're coming with me, you're going to do everything the mortal way!" Gabrielle shouted from a back room.

"What!" I exclaimed, "What good am I if I can't use my powers to help you?"

"You're worthless either way!"

She was being really mean to me, and I was just trying to be nice, "I dunno what's got her panties in a bunch…" I muttered, and turned back to Lila, "I guess I'm sleeping here tonight."

"You can sleep in Sara's room. She's away right now. I'm sorry about Gabby, by the way…don't take anything she says too personally. She's taking everything really rough right now."

I shrugged. The Goddess of Love doesn't give up! I would not be fazed by her crankiness. I followed Lila back to the bedroom, and it looked completely unappealing and drab. She pulled out a lot of extra pillows for me to try and make my stay more comfortable.

"So…you're one of the last Olympians…" She said and ushered me toward the bed. She turned up the lamp on the nearby table, and sat next to me, "Why don't you tell me about it?"

I liked this girl. She may not have recognized me at first, but at least she appreciated my immortality. Gabrielle apparently wasn't in the mood for story telling, but I for one certainly was…especially if they were stories about myself. I thought maybe conventional little Lila could start a cult in my name and I could have worshippers again, but of course, my plans never work, do they?


	4. Off to India We Go!

_**Michelle-Note: **Hehe. I updated soon. I'm glad someone's enjoying this. I'm enjoying it too. Yays!_

4. Off To India We Go!

A pile of clothes hit me in the face, jarring me from my restless sleep, and I heard Gabrielle say, "Put those on."

I looked at the items in the dim light of sunrise and resisted the urge I had to turn the little blonde into a fly and then squish her, "These! Gabby, please!"

"I can't have you attracting too much attention to us. You have to dress normally, and ditch those pink undergarments. You may as well run around naked if that's all you're going to wear."

"I _would_ run around naked, but I have to leave at least a little up to the imagination."

"Just put on those clothes. They should fit you."

"But they're the color of…of dirt…and grass! They're _natural_ colors!"

"Aphrodite, put them on." She said between her teeth, "I'm going to go pack us some supplies. Meet me outside when you're dressed." She turned and left me in the dusty little room. I felt dirty, as in with dirt. I hadn't slept in a mortal bed since that fiasco with Caligula…that crazy son of a bitch, and he was scrawny too. I don't do scrawny men. When I fully regained my sensibilities I was revolted at the thought that I kissed him, much less slept with him. He had a tiny penis and was trying to compensate for it by becoming a God. What a silly man. All men are silly when it comes down to it though.

For a while I just looked at the clothes. I held them up and sneered at them, mocking Gabrielle, "Can't attract attention blah blah blah…we wouldn't be in any danger of attracting attention if you'd let me pop us to Eve."

I thought for a minute that maybe this was all a bad idea, and it was pointless and silly, but then I shrugged it off, and snapped my fingers, making the horrid, drab, mortal clothes appear on me. I made some appropriate adjustments – shortening the shirt, and lowering the collar. I looked in the mirror and decided I looked like a pretty bard. I was merely playing dress up for a while, I told myself. I winked at my reflection and realized Gabby didn't give me any shoes. No matter though, I snapped my fingers again, and some boots appeared that appropriately matched my attire. Now all I needed was a walking stick, and I'd be playing dress up as Gabby when she was younger.

Giggling, I conjured a tall stick, and I posed in the mirror with it for a bit. I realized I'd taken a while, but before I could make it outside, Gabrielle was already yelling for me to hurry. Lila was seeing us off with a fair amount of food for the journey.

Gabrielle had already packed everything onto the horse…_the_ _horse_. There was only one. The only thing worse than riding a horse was walking, and I knew who would be doing the walking. She turned and stared at me blankly, "What are you wearing?"

"What you gave me, of course…except the boots. I came up with those myself!" I said with a smile, hoping she was pleased.

She wasn't pleased, "Uh huh…and what is that you're carrying?"

"A big stick…" There was no making this girl happy, I decided.

"Why?"

"Because I'm your traveling companion and I need it for self-defense since I can't use any of my powers." I said bitterly.

"You better keep up." She said, getting onto the tawny colored horse, only to ride it around me in a circle to further examine my outfit. I almost thought I saw a tiny bit of a smile, but then I realized she probably just had something in her eye.

"Be careful, and good luck." Lila said from the porch, "My home is always open to both of you!"

Lila was nice. She was nice like Gabrielle used to be, but Gabrielle was a bit more of a risk-taker. Lila had been her younger sister, and now she was older because of an incident involving faked deaths and an ice cave in the mountains. That had to be a bit awkward for Gabby. I was used to people growing old while I didn't because I was immortal and all. She could have talked to me about it. I would have understood and listened intently.

I felt rather sad for a moment. Why didn't Gabrielle like me anymore? It couldn't be that she didn't like me; it was just that she missed Xena. But before I realized it, she had ridden off without me. That's not something you do to someone you like. I waved to Lila and ran to catch up and walk beside the horse.

We went on in silence for what felt like forever, and I kept looking at her out of the corner of my eye every so often. I thought I might find a sign of the old Gabrielle under all of her bitterness after a while.

I had to break the silence when the sun was high around noon, "I can't believe you're making me walk. When you first met Xena, she at least let you ride some."

She looked down at me, "I didn't complain. I wanted to go with her."

"I wanna go with you…"

"You don't. You're bored and lonely."

"I could just pop us to India…" I suggested. This horribly depressing journey would be over sooner if we found Eve. I regretted the whole deal now. I wanted to just give her the damn scroll and leave.

"There will be no popping. You want to travel with me, you will do it like Xena and I did."

"Xena, Xena, Xena…blah blah…bleh!" I muttered under my breath.

"What?"

I smiled innocently, "Oh, nothing."

We continued on for a while, in silence again. I was starting to get real tired. Just because I was immortal and all didn't mean that I didn't get tired from walking miles and miles on minimal sleep and food. I cleared my throat and said, "Not to be complaining or anything…but when are we going to stop?"

"Nightfall."

I groaned a lot louder than I had intended to, "Are we going to make it to a town?"

"No."

"A village?"

"No."

"Anything?"

"Hopefully we'll make it to a river so we can bathe."

"Do I smell?" I started to sniff myself, frantically, "Oh no…can I please use my powers?"

"No."

"No one's around!" I shouted.

"No!" She shouted back at me.

"You're no fun anymore." I said, shaking my stick at her.

"I'm trying to mourn, Aphrodite! Didn't you mourn after the Twilight!" She snapped.

"Well…no…" I mumbled, "Haven't you mourned for long enough?"

"You're so selfish!"

"I'm immortal! There's no point in me mourning. Everyone I know is going to die, and I'm not. Even the other immortals died! I can't mourn. If I mourn then I'll be doing it forever, and forever is a really long time, I hope you know! At least you get to be reincarnated, and you'll meet up with Xena in every single life…while I'm stuck here…just here." I couldn't find the motivation to continue my thought, so I ended it there.

"It's still hard…accepting that she's gone…"

"She lives inside you though…in your heart…like your scroll said…" The sappiness of it was a bit much for me, and I'm surprised I even managed to form the words. I didn't do sap. I did sex.

"You really read it?" She seemed shocked.

"Of course I did." I confessed a little reluctantly.

She finally smiled a little, "There should be a river up ahead, how about we stop there and camp?"

"It's nowhere near nightfall yet."

"I know, but we can get cleaned up, and I'll catch some fish."

"Fish?" I said in disbelief.

"Yeah…those things that swim around in water."

"I know what fish are." I told her, "I just don't want to eat them."

"You've never had fish?"

"I don't eat a lot of the things mortals eat…"

"What about when you were with Caligula?" She asked, curiously.

I winced, "Don't talk about that. I don't remember most of it anyway, so nothing I did then really counts."

She laughed for the first time since she'd been back, and probably for the first time since Xena died, "You probably don't remember, but you definitely tried to kiss me. Good thing it didn't count, huh?"

I actually did remember _that_. Somewhere in my head the tiny bit of logic that remained had told me I could get away with it in my present state at that time. "Did I really?" I feigned a bit of disbelief, "No one ever told me that."

"Yeah, Caligula was getting pretty jealous, or maybe just freaked out cus you would have given me a bit of your immortality had you kissed me and that would have been less for him. You were following me around a good bit…you didn't seem to remember me though. I would've thought you were in love with me or something." She chuckled again.

"That's silly!" I took the opportunity to explore my surroundings and avoid eye contact.

"You're telling me? The Goddess of Love can't actually fall in love."

"Oh really?" I wanted to argue with her.

"You're already in love, Aphrodite."

"With?" I asked.

"Yourself."

I sighed. She didn't mean it as nearly as harshly as it came across. She didn't know any better. We approached the river, and I examined the water, "We're supposed to get _clean_ in _that_?" I pointed in astonishment, "This is not how Gods get clean."

"You're not a God right now. You're just a person named Aphrodite that is traveling with me." Gabrielle said, hopping off of the horse. She tied it to a tree, and started to undress.

I looked away, and asked, "Why are you doing this to me?"

She thought I was referring to her not wanting me to use any of my powers, but that wasn't it at all, "I wanna see what you've got up your sleeves…now that you're wearing something with sleeves. I dunno why you would travel with me without using your powers just because you're bored. You must want something." She laughed, "Come on, I'll show you how to catch a fish with you hands like Xena taught me!"

Yes, I did want something. Something I couldn't have. I started fiddling with the clothes, finding that I had no idea how to get them off. I waited for Gabrielle to dive under the water, and then I did, in fact, use my powers to become naked.

She bobbed back up, "I saw that." I tried to cover myself in panic, and I didn't understand why myself. She laughed at me, "I saw the sparkles from under the water. You couldn't get your clothes off."

I shrugged, and walked to the water's edge and dipped my toes in. It felt nasty, and wet. I had all of my powers in check so that I could get wet because there was no other way for me to get clean, and normally, I could stand out in a monsoon and remain completely dry. It was one of the perks of being a Goddess.

Gabby splashed me playfully, and whined, "Come on."

I was unsure what sparked the change in her, but I stepped in, having been dampened, and she only proceeded to splash me more.

"You act like you've never done this before!"

"It's because I haven't!" I pouted, and started to walk out to her into the deeper water.

"You haven't ever taken a bath?"

"Not like this…no…not in dirty water."

"It's clean!"

"There are fish in it, and fish have to use the bathroom somewhere!" I protested.

"Speaking of fish…" She reached under the water, and without warning pulled up a huge trout…or salmon…or bass. I didn't know anything about fish. I just knew it was a fish, "Catch!" She yelled and tossed it to me.

I ducked and tumbled into the water trying to avoid the huge, squirming, slimy thing.

"You just lost our dinner."

"How-"

"Just kidding! I'll catch another."

I never quite figured out how to catch a fish. I did get soaking wet though, and I wasn't sure if I felt cleaner or just more dirty after I got out. Gabby made a fire and cooked, and we reminisced about the old days until the sun set. We laid out blankets around the fire to sleep on, and I realized there was something worse than sleeping in a mortal bed, and that was sleeping on the ground. There were bugs, and snakes, and I didn't understand how anyone managed to do this and get any sleep. All and all I was happy though with how the day turned out, minus that list of complaints.


	5. Even Though the Gods Are Crazy…

_**Michelle-Note: **I forgot to submit this chapter after I wrote it (I'm quite embarassed). But yay for reviews! I'm almost done with the next chapter too. Be excited._

5. Even Though the Gods Are Crazy…

As I remembered the many days of our journey I stared at the TVs, and a man from inside approached me, "Can I help you?" He asked, "You look very pale. Should I-"

I shook my head, "I'm fine. Just thinking."

"About Xena? She was a great hero. Too bad we don't have heroes like that anymore."

"Yeah. It's too bad." I walked away sadly, and sat by myself at a booth in the food court. I'd grab a fish sandwich before making my way back to Olympus. My sight and senses permeated far beyond Greece now, but I often chose not to make use of such powers. I had obtained them through a shady deal with the Norse Gods. I could have found anyone I wanted to, but I suppose I didn't really want to when it came down to it. What good would it do? Everyone would just die, except Ares, but I didn't much care to find him anyway.

I'd set my mind on going to the next convention…just to see what it was like. I'd wear a grand disguise and no one would recognize me then I could go on my way. I'd go back to Olympus to sit alone, and wish I had done something more, but there's always their next lifetime, yeah? No. Nothing would ever work like I wanted it to, ever. I was used to getting what I wanted, and this had never settled well with me. Maybe I wanted it just because I _absolutely _could not have it.

Putting my head down on the table, I watched the people bustle about. A new viewpoint was good. I could see what it was like to be short. People shrink when they get old. I laughed at the thought. Gabby shrunk Xena's horse. Those were the days. That day I did whisk her up to Mount Olympus to help her start writing again. You can't be the Battling Bard with the bard part. She would have just been the Battling Girl of Potidea, and that doesn't have nearly as nice of a ring to it.

A man approached me. He was a big man, or maybe it was just because I had my head down. His hands were in his pockets, and he looked really determined. I knew what he would ask, and not tonight. I would turn him down.

"Ma'am…" He cleared his throat to get my attention, "Could I maybe-"

"No."

He looked stunned, and also rather handsome. He was muscular, and not scrawny like Caligula. That poor insane fellow ended up some sort of standard that I compared everyone to. He laughed nervously, "You're taken. I should have known…"

I smiled, and stood up. He was polite and it made me feel bad to be so blunt, "I'm out of your league," I put my arm around his shoulders, and guided his eyes around the open space then I pointed, "But her. Try her."

He nodded, and I flicked a tiny unnoticeable love spell in her general direction then I hit him with one from behind as he walked away. No one noticed, and I decided it was time for me to go. They would live happily ever after, but love spells weren't good enough for me. I was a God, and I wanted _real_ love. I strolled off in the opposite direction, and didn't look at the televisions as I passed them. My shopping didn't go so well.

I drove away from the parking deck feeling like there was something more I should have done, but I didn't know what. It's the same way I felt when I finally took my leave of Gabrielle in India.

The days turned into months as we traveled, and everything we did became a sort of routine. I didn't mind acting like a mortal so much, aside from the calluses, and the bugs, and that list of things that kept getting longer and longer each time I thought about it, but all and all, I didn't mind. It was how I always wished it would have been: Aphrodite and Gabrielle, not Xena and Gabrielle. She even walked sometimes and let me ride the horse, whose name was Quintus, actually, and he was a boy horse. We talked and ate and beat up some bad guys. The bad guys made Gabby have a little change of heart after a while.

I had proven rather useless with my _staff_, which I will always fondly refer to as a big stick, so our battle strategy was generally that I ran and hid, and Gabby did the ass-kicking part. But then one day, I ran and hid, and I was watching the battle as usual, but Gabby was having a rough time with the ass-kicking. The bandits we encountered outnumbered her by…well…a lot. They were swooping in from all sides and above, and they just kept coming.

Several had grabbed her and were holding her down, and then I decided to breech my contract and use my powers. I popped myself nearby, and the posse looked up at me, amazed, and astounded by my beauty even though I was wearing mere mortal clothing.

"Get away from my friend." I said putting my hands on my hips, and trying to be as intimidating as possible.

Gabrielle looked up, and I swear she was happy to see me, but the men just laughed and made inappropriate comments. They certainly didn't let her go, and it made me angry. I wasn't a big fan of violence - that was my brother's expertise. It was all too sweaty and loud for me, though some things in my area of expertise were also sweaty and loud…

"Yeah…we'll get away from your friend." One of them laughed, and punched her in the stomach.

Without a thought I blasted him into a tree with a delightfully pink energy ball, "Get away from my friend!" I said again, "And by the way, you all smell really bad."

"You don't smell like no basket of peaches yourself, pretty." One said to me, and I sent him flying as well then took a moment to sniff myself. I smelled alright, but maybe I'd gotten used to my stench.

Some of them started to scatter, and I took a few of them out that wouldn't let go of Gabby, and soon they had all fled. I gloated for a moment in my success, and then ran to Gabby's side, "Are you alright, sweetpea?"

She winced a bit, and smiled, "I've been worse. This was no chakram to the back of the head, or a crucifixion. Just got the wind knocked out of me. Nothing I can't walk off."

I wanted to laugh at her comment, but I couldn't, and I just helped her up instead.

"You saved me. Thanks." She said, kindly.

"Is it ok that I used my powers?"

"Yes," She paused, and we began to walk back to where we left the horse, "And it was little horrible of me to stop you from using them to start with. I suppose they are handy…not that I wouldn't have gotten out of that mess myself after a while or anything."

"Of course, Miss Battling Bard…so why'd you not want me to use my powers anyway?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Honestly? I thought I'd get rid of you sooner…"

I stopped walking, and she walked ahead for a bit before turning, and looking at me questioningly, "Oh. I thought my boot was unlaced. Sorry." I mumbled and caught back up with her, very much resenting her statement, "So can I use my powers now?"

"Yeah. I suppose so. You can pop us…or whatever you call it…to India if you want."

"No, that's ok."

"Really?"

"Yep." I walked ahead, "I'll make sure you're stuck with me as long as possible."

"What'd you say?"

"I said you should ride Quintus because you're hurt."

"Oh…you can get on back if you like. It would make our trip faster, and we could maybe make it to a town by nightfall to sleep in beds." She said, mounting the beast of burden.

Both ideas appealed to me, but I would have been much happier had it been something like Gabrielle and myself in a bed instead of on a horse, but I had to make do, and I said enthusiastically, "Sure!"

She grabbed my arm, and pulled me up behind her then said, "Now hold on."

"To?"

"Me, Aphrodite."

Couldn't argue with that. I wrapped my arms around her waist, and we galloped off. The only thing making the awful ride remotely pleasant was Gabby's presence. Sometimes I would rest my chin on her shoulder and watch ahead as we sped toward the horizon. It was only a few more days of travel before we were in India, and once there, we just had to find Eve. She couldn't be that hard to find because she was quite famous being the girl that caused the fall of the Olympians.

Several nights later we were back in the woods, and we had lain down to sleep around the fire. All conversation had died down, and all was silent aside from the crickets, but then Gabrielle spoke up, "Aphrodite?"

"Huh?" I mumbled, having started to drift into sleep.

"Why didn't you heal me without Athena's blessing? Ares did it, but you're the Goddess of Love, and he's the God of War. It seems like it would have been the other way around."

That definitely woke me up. I didn't respond and tried to pretend I was still asleep because my reason was no more than a pathetic excuse.

"You're so selfish for being the reason that love exists in the world. Love isn't selfish. Why wouldn't you give up your immortality for your friends…I don't understand. If I were a God, I would have done it for Xena without a thought."

"And that's what Ares did…" I said, "He did it for Xena."

"But why didn't you? Does your immortality mean more to you than your friends?"

"My friends were killing my family, and yes."

"You could have killed Eve and stopped it all, and you didn't have to take us to Olympus, so your family didn't mean that much to you." She argued.

"Xena would have killed me, and…" I didn't want to say it, but it_ was _the only way I thought Gabrielle had a chance like Xena had said. I did it for Gabby. The plan I formulated in my head fell through in the end of course – true to form. I didn't know how to heal her without Athena's blessing. I didn't know I could give up my immortality. I clearly hadn't been paying attention when they told us that because I would have, and I wouldn't have wasted time like Ares did to make it all dramatic either. I couldn't kill Eve because I was trying so pathetically hard to get Athena to just give me her damn blessing. Then I thought about it and I couldn't, I couldn't kill her at all. She wasn't a bad person, even though she was the reason for our fall and she did preach Eli's message of the One God. It hit me then that we brought it on ourselves, that we even deserved it. I had wanted no part of anyone who would use poor Gabby as a pawn, and now she was dying, and I guess I wanted them to die because of it. If I killed Eve, Xena would be killed, and then there was nothing saying that Athena would give me her blessing even then since I had refused to fight for them…to fight for us. I had made my decision, and there was no point in the Goddess of Love becoming a murderer.

"Why don't you ever learn, Aphrodite?" Gabby asked, sadly.

I pretended to be asleep, and I suppose she went to sleep as well, or at least stopped talking. I took them to Olympus where Xena could kill everyone, and I thought when it was over everyone would be grateful to me, to Aphrodite, but no, they weren't. I suppose Ares _did_ save them, but if it weren't for me they wouldn't have even been there, but it's Ares that gets all of the credit.

The next afternoon we found Eve. She was praying quietly in the center of a small town with several others. She had been gradually making her way back to Greece, and everyone we spoke to before finding her in the square had heard of her. She wasn't hard to find, just as I expected, though quiet and humbly dressed.

Gabrielle didn't want to interrupt her prayer, and waited patiently for her to finish. My patience grew thin a bit quicker, "Eve," I said, "Are you done yet?"

She turned slowly to look at us. Her dark hair down and blowing carelessly in the wind; it looked much better down and not in that horrible too tight ponytail. I was glad when she ditched that awful hair-don't. Her eyes lit up when she saw Gabby, "Gabrielle!"

They hugged, and then Eve turned to me, "Aphrodite. I haven't seen you in ages."

"Are you allowed to talk to me? I'm certainly not your One God." I said, my words laced with bitterness, but I knew my bitterness was partially my doing. _I _killed the Olympians, she was only the reason we were able to be killed.

She sighed, "You're really a good person."

"Not a _person_, a _God_."

"Why didn't you kill me, Aphrodite?"

I showed no sign of responding, and Gabrielle took Eve's hand, "I've come here to tell you something…"

Her attention shifted, "Yes?"

"Some bad news."

Her head tilted to the side like some confused puppy, and she looked perfectly innocent, though she had slaughtered her fair share of innocent people.

"Your mother, Xena, she was killed." The words somehow sounded fake like they were a lie. I still didn't quite believe it myself.

Eve looked saddened, but then her expression turned to one of complacency, and she nodded, "Her destiny…"

"You're not…like…more sad?" I asked. What a weird mortal.

She shook her head, "I knew this would come one day. It could be no other way for her path was one of a warrior. I assume she died for a greater good?"

"She did." Gabrielle assured her.

The scroll materialized in my hand. I held it out to Eve, "It's a good read…if you're into that sort of thing…_reading_. It's such a mortal form of entertainment."

Smiling, she took the scroll, "I'd been meaning to ask you if I ever say you again, and here you are. You came to me, and I must know, why didn't you kill me?"

"If you don't mind, I don't want to discuss the Twilight. It's a bit of a sore subject. Really."

"I'm sorry." She sounded so sincere, and I hated it. She really was sorry. It wasn't something she chose.

Gabby still seemed a bit stunned that Eve was taking her mother's death so well to say the least, so I refocused on her, "She's got your scroll, I'm sure she won't hold it hostage, so I'll take my leave now."

"You don't want to stay?" This appeared to send her reeling as well.

"Stay here? The mortal world? You don't know me at all, little one." I laughed to cover up my wishing I were mortal so I could just die. I ridded myself of the dirty clothes and brought back my pink lingerie in a sparkle.

"I don't know what I was thinking…maybe that you'd changed."

"God's don't change."

"Everything changes." Eve interjected.

"What did you get out of this? I don't understand. You had to have gained something from traveling with me or else you wouldn't have done it." Gabby continued.

"Nothing."

"What did you want then?"

Something I would never get was the answer. I ignored the question because I felt like it was admitting a fault, and Gods have no faults, "I have a date with my own bed, some muscle-bound men, and lots of scented oils on Mount Olympus tonight, sweetpea."

"But I'll see you again." She hesitated a bit, "Right?"

I shrugged, and disappeared. No. She wouldn't see me again. That was the last time I ever spoke to her in any lifetime. For a while I avoided her like the plague, in fact. Then I just avoided her normally.

Eve seemed to be in deep thought over the whole matter, and I stayed around to watch, thinking she'd say something intelligent and cryptic, but nothing. I thought if anyone could figure me out without my wanted them to it would be that crazy little wench.

"Every time I think she's different…" Gabby muttered to herself more than anything, "She goes right back to being old self-centered Aphrodite." Then she looked at Eve, "I sort of liked having her around. It beat traveling alone."

"Why don't you travel for me for a while?" The dark-haired one suggested.

"I planned on it. Aphrodite showed me that I was heading down the wrong path…I was starting to take out my frustration on my friends…if she even is my friend, I don't know."

"She tried to heal you, Gabrielle, and she didn't kill me when she had a perfect opportunity. Then she took us to Olympus, and everything fell into place as it was meant to."

"But she didn't heal me. Ares healed us both. Ares! Because even the God of War loved Xena. Aphrodite only took us to Olympus because Xena would have killed her otherwise, and I don't know why she didn't kill you." She thought for a moment, "She probably thought that with all the other Gods dead, everyone would worship her or something."

"For some reason I don't think so."

"You don't know Aphrodite like I know Aphrodite."

No one knew Aphrodite. I'm certain I had lost my mind and that I didn't even know me anymore at that point. I had been completely happy with how things were before, or so I thought, but I didn't have any friends, and then I clung to the first person to seem to think of me as a friend. It was like I'd accidentally smacked myself with one of my own silly love spells, and a bitch of an unrequited love spell at that. Maybe that time Eros went off shooting everyone I took an arrow to the back and didn't realize it.

I sighed with the thought of the memories, and teleported back to Olympus. I flopped onto my bed, and covered my head with a pillow. It was so quiet here with everyone gone. I wasn't used to it yet.

"Long time no see, sis."


	6. The Spoils of War

_**Michelle-Note:** __Soooo I finally decided to update this. This chapter was actually finished a long time ago, and I somehow forgot I'd finished it. I apologize for my lack of competence._

6. The Spoils of War

"Nice of you to drop by, Ares." I said, as I sat up, "What in the name of us, are you wearing?"

He brushed something imaginary off of his left shoulder then admired himself in my mirror, fiddling with the collar of his shirt, "Don't you like it? It's my new suit for the convention next week."

"Dear brother, it's pink." I pointed out, in case he hadn't noticed.

"It's pale salmon." He corrected, and adjusted the matching tie.

I rolled my eyes, "Since when does the God of War wear pink? Pink is my thing. You look like a big pansy."

He flexed his muscles, as if to counter-act my having called him a pansy, "Do you think Xena will like it?"

"Xena…Xena…Xena…everyone loves Xena."

"What's not to love about her?"

Twisting my hair around my finger and avoiding the question, I asked, "So…what have you been doing all of these years?"

"What do you think?"

"Trying to make Xena love you?"

"Bingo. I always knew you were smarter than you let on, sis."

I nodded, "So what are you doing here? I'm certain you want more than to show me your pink suit."

"I want a love spell."

"You want to resort to a love spell? Really? Why didn't you think of it sooner?"

"I didn't want to bother you, sis. It would have been horrible of me to barge up in here and interrupt your decades of solitary confinement."

"Oh, boo. What do you know?" I groaned and flopped back down to look up at the ceiling rather than my arrogant sibling. I never expected him to show back up.

He appeared next to my bed and loomed over me, "I know that you've given up." He said pointing at me firmly, "You are a quitter, and Olympians are not quitters."

"You're delusional." I slapped his hand away, "What have I given up on?"

"Love, Aphrodite!" He clinched his first and shook them at me in an overly dramatic gesture.

I glared at him, "Delusional."

"You're bitter." He crossed his arms and nodded.

"Bitter? The Goddess of Love is not bitter." I denied what I knew to be perfectly true. All I needed were a bunch of cats to be the hottest old cat lady ever.

He nodded again, "Goddess of Bitterness. You're what's wrong with the world. You've spawned all of these passive-aggressive bitter people, following in your footsteps without even knowing you exist. You're the reason emo kids exist."

"Don't blame me for emo kids!"

"Truth facts are all that I state."

"Hmph. Come on. Remember that bargain you made with Xena for her soul?"

"That was a bad plan!"

"And a love spell isn't?"

"Nope. Besides, you could have her little sidekick if I got her out of the way." He eyed me, waiting for a reaction I wouldn't give him.

I sneered, "No. She'll never love you."

"That's why I need a love spell, sis." He stamped his foot, "I'm so tired of these underhanded attempts-"

"A love spell isn't underhanded? It's a trick. It isn't real. Are you telling me you'd be comfortable with fake love from Xena?"

"How often do I ask you for anything, Aphrodite?" He avoided the question.

"I'll think about it." I said to get him to leave me alone. I tired of the conversation rapidly.

"Don't think too long, the C.H.A.K.R.A.M meeting is tomorrow."

"I was thinking about going to that dumb thing…" I muttered and rolled over so I no longer faced him.

I felt him sit down at the foot of my bed, "It's about time. You need to get out and about more."

"What do you know? Seriously."

"I've been extremely active."

"Yeah, yeah…so you had a hand in some pointless wars, but you still haven't found yourself a new champion because you're still obsessed with Xena, and giving her all of your attention, even though she clearly doesn't give a rat's ass about you. You need to figure out how to let go."

A moment of silence followed, Ares got up and then said, "At least I'm not obsessed with someone and laying around on Olympus doing nothing about it at all. You're the one that needs to let go, since you're a quitter. I better see you tomorrow, and you better give me my love spell."

I started to chide back, but he'd already disappeared again. My thinking of him seemed to conjure him into existence, but he did nothing to remedy my loneliness or fill the empty, deserted feeling that plagued our home. Stupid God of War. He didn't know anything. He spent most of his time in solitude concocting ridiculous plans to win Xena's affection, only occasionally fueling the modern warlords' hatred to perpetuate silly wars and strife. What could he know? What could he _possibly_ know? God of _War_. I hadn't given up on love. How would he even know? I had done the opposite. I clung to it just as senselessly as he did. Right? Same difference. Right. Maybe…

"Ridiculous." I groaned to myself at the very thought that Ares knew more about love, more about me, than I did. Disgusting. I wished he hadn't shown up. I pressed a pillow over my face again. It's a shame Gods don't sleep. It would be extremely convenient to stop thinking, to get a damn break.

I'd go to the silly Center for Historical Accuracy of Key Research in Ancient Mythology meeting crap. No trivial love spell for Ares though. If I couldn't get what I wanted, neither could he.


End file.
